Domestic violence and abuse happens to all genders and this needs to be remembered. I’ve met men and women in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships who have all suffered at the hand of an abuser. However, in the majority of abuse, it is male to female and the stats below show this.
The following information comes from Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety (ANROWS):
Rates of violence against women and men since the age of 15:
- 1 in 2 Australian men had experienced physical violence
- 1 in 3 Australian women had experienced physical violence
- 1 in 4 Australian women had experienced emotional abuse by a current or former partner
- 1 in 5 Australian women had experienced sexual violence
- 1 in 6 Australian women had experienced physical or sexual violence from a current or former partner
- 1 in 7 Australian men had experienced emotional abuse by a current or former partner
- 1 in 19 Australian men had experienced physical or sexual violence from a current or former partner
- 1 in 22 Australian men had experienced sexual violence
- Over 3 times as many people experienced violence from a male.
Did you know that 58% of domestic violence victims never contact the police and 24% have never sought advice or support? 74% have experienced more than one incidence of violence and 61% had children in their care when the violence occurred.
It is not my contention to suggest that all this violence is perpetrated by narcissists. My point is that culturally it is embedded into our knowledges that women are subservient to men. This is patriarchy, and male privilege dominates. Narcissism is just making it worse. The only real way to combat domestic violence is by education and this will take a generational change.
By not adhering to gender stereotyping, not allowing violence in the playground (it is not okay for a boy to pull a girl’s pony tail if he likes her), or in other parts of our lives, we may be able to create a society where the normalisation of violence is not an ideology we subscribe to.
We should not be allowing or condoning bullying, or cyberbullying of any kind from any gender. In fact, not allowing or accepting violence—to do so is enabling it. Stand up and have a voice, and teach your child that abuse and bullying is not okay. Abusive children will grow to be abusive adults, so please watch for nasty behaviours and stop it immediately.