Are we a Nation of Narcissists?
Contact Us Now: 0400 595 679

The narcissist as date rapist

I would like to reiterate that this post is not about man-hating. I speak of the male perpetrator and female victim merely because statistically there are more females raped by males, than the other way around. Further, I am not claiming all narcissists are rapists, nor that all rapists are narcissists.

I’ve mentioned before that narcissists have less empathy to others’ feelings or emotions, and when this comes to date rape, the narcissist is less likely to perceive a sexual encounter, or rape, the same way as the victim does:

  • Narcissists view rape lower on the scale of violence, than do non-narcissists.
  • Narcissists hold ‘rape-conducive’ beliefs, meaning they believe when a woman says no, she actually means yes, and that the rape victims share in the responsibility for the rape.
  • If a female refuses sexual advances, the narcissistic male may be tempted to force the sex, through coercion or force.

This is how date rape happens, and why it is becoming more prevalent in society. It becomes evidence of not only the rise in narcissistic behaviour, but also of the patriarchy and male privilege that underpins our society.

Interestingly, in research conducted by Bushman, Bonacci, van Dijk and Baumeister1 in the United States, it was found that narcissists who watched filmed depictions of rape responded more favourably than non-narcissists, in that they rated these scenes as more enjoyable, entertaining and more sexually arousing. The enjoyment of sexual aggression would suggest male narcissists exhibit the trait of hostile masculinity, which is very similar to narcissism. The narcissist often has feelings of inflated expectations or entitlements, therefore men who feel hurt or rejected wish to punish or control the woman, specifically developing hostile and aggressive behaviour towards her.

Please, I urge any victims of rape or date rape to seek counselling and report the crime to authorities

(1) Bushman, B, Bonacci, A, van Dijk, M & Baumeister, R 2003, “Narcissism, Sexual refusal, and aggression: Testing a narcissistic reactance model of sexual coercion”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 84., No. 5., pp. 1027-1040.